Because The days Are Lonely
by Ialwaysshipthedoomedones
Summary: ...And the nights are lonelier.
1. Chapter 1

_A/N This is going to be predominately a Carla and Leanne fic, though other characters, Peter, Stella etc will be invloved too. It's set in present time, in the midst of the custody battle, so Carla is still with Peter and the affair, Frank, everything still happened. SOrry this chapter is so short!_  
_Anna. _

Leanne scraped her hair back into a tight pony tail, not bothering to put any make up on at all. She found that recently she couldn't be bothered with making herself look attractive, all her actions seemed hollow and pointless. Nothing had a meaning any more.

With an empty sigh, Leanne threw on a pair of leggings and an old, oversized hoodie and left her bedroom, somewhere she still did not feel comfortable. She poured out two coffees, sugaring her own but leaving the other plain, still remembering how the raven haired woman liked her drink.

She wasn't sure what she was going to say, or do and found that she herself was the nervous one, scared of the other woman's reaction when she was in fact the innocent one in the whole scenario. She wondered if Carla would even come, probably expecting to be bombarded with hate and abuse, when in reality, that was the last thing Leanne had planned.

The clicking of heels falling in place against the cobbles echoed through the street as Carla nervously made her way towards the Rovers. It was a warm day, the sun shone brightly upon everyone underneath, and Carla thought that considering the circumstances, it felt wrong. The meeting she was about to have was surely not going to be an easy, cliché, reunion. No. She figured it would be rather more of a shouting match and thought it deserved a dark, miserable day, with thick, grey rain clouds overshadowing them.

She cautiously stepped inside the pub, asking Stella with a polite smile if she could go through to the back. With a tentative thanks she headed into the back room, to be greeted with an exhausted looking Leanne.

It took the younger of the woman a few moments to notice the other's arrival, but when she did, she stood, almost nervously and told her to sit, a delicate tone to her voice.

"I made you a coffee" Leanne spoke, pushing the steaming hot mug towards Carla, who sat with her eyes to the ground, embarrassed to look up at all after all that had passed between the two of them.

"I guess you're probably wondering why I asked you to come"

"I had realised it wasn't a social call" Carla replied, finally bringing her gaze up to meet Leanne's. The guilt in her eyes was evident. Guilt for ruining one of her dearest friend's entire world, guilt for not bringing herself to regret it, and guilt for knowing, if given the chance, she wouldn't have changed her actions.

"I need a favour. A big one" Leanne paused, nursing her mug between her hands, bringing her legs up so they rested on the edge of the chair, allowing her to lean her chin against her knees. "I need to see Simon Carla"

"Leanne you know I can't do that. Last time I lied to Peter was a one off, I can't keep going against his wishes, I'm sorry, I really am"

Leanne caught Carla's gaze and held it for a while, pleading with her silently "Please Carla"

"I'm sorry. Look the best I can do is speak to him, get him to reconsider, that's all I can do. I'm sorry" Neither of them spoke as Leanne offered her no reply. "I should go" Carla stood up and headed towards the door, eager to escape. But she was pulled back by four words, four words that held a literal physical force. Her hand remained on the door handle, unable to move as she absorbed the words.

"I've got Cancer Carla"


	2. Chapter 2

_"Sometimes you forgive someone simply because you want them in your life"_

"Is it erm.. Are you gonna..?" She chocks back a sob and cannot bring herself to say the words, to even think them because if she does she'll fall apart and she doesn't feel as though she has that right. She finds it almost sort of funny how much her heart aches for her because she has spent so many years taking her for granted and yet she can't imagine life without her.

"Have you told anyone else?" She settles on a simpler question, thinking she can hold it together enough to string those words into a coherent sentence. Leanne shakes her head, looking up at Carla as she walks back across the room, her bag slipping from her shoulder as she places it onto the floor and sits back down, pulling her chair closer to the one Leanne occupies.

"Leanne, what did the Doctor's say?"

"It's pretty aggressive, but they think they could get rid of it with treatment"

"That's good isn't it? I mean, you're going to get the treatment right?" Carla sensed there was something she was missing, because Leanne seemed empty, hollow, despite the fact there now seemed more hope than Carla had imagined.

Leanne brings her head to look up at Carla, their eyes meeting for the first time in months, she shakes her head softly in reply to her question but doesn't give any explanation, instead Carla watches as she picks at a thread on her jumper as if it is the most fascinating thing she's seen.

"Why aren't you trying to fight this Leanne?"

"Because I don't want to. It's my choice"

"But you'll die if you don't! You'll die!"

"Do you think I don't know that? Do you think I want this eh Carla? That I haven't wished this away, begged to a God I don't even believe in that this is all some sort of sick joke but it's not. That's just life. "

"I don't want you to die Lea" Carla's eyes are filled with tears that catch the dim light of the room and glimmer dangerously close to falling. Leanne doesn't answer but takes comfort in the older woman's words. She studies Carla, taking in everything about her, wondering why she had decided to tell her, her deepest, most intimate secrets that seem so wrong in her sworn enemies hands.

"You've got to tell Peter Lea" Leanne's head snaps up instantly "Don't you dare tell him, don't you breathe a word of this to anyone Carla" Her words are filled with a bitter venom, a fierce anger that almost scares Carla.

"He deserves to know" Carla instantly regrets her words, realising that Peter doesn't really deserve anything from the woman who's life they destroyed. She puts her hands out in front of her, and apologises for her slip up. "You can't do this alone" She says after a few minutes of silence, hoping beyond hope that Leanne will let her help her, but knowing that she doesn't deserve this chance no matter how sorry she is.

Leanne almost shouts at her to stop, to stop breaking away at the barriers she has built to protect herself. She doesn't want to let her in, she can't because to forgive such actions would be wrong, pitiful, desperate. Except that, that is what she is now. Desperate and so painfully alone.

"Talk to me, please?" Carla slips her hand over hers without even thinking and is surprised yet relieved when she doesn't pull away. Leanne looks up at her, tears brimming in her eyes.

"I'm pregnant Carla. I'm pregnant and I'm never going to meet my baby"


End file.
